Just Another Friday Night Conversation With God

The appointments with Him are never scheduled. Well, at least they aren’t in any agenda book I have.  But He has his own timetable.  And shows up precisely when He’s needed.  And for me, it’s always been in the midst of a struggle / surrender / serenity cycle.  He’s the Closer when it comes to…

Sifting Through The Bones Of My Existence

It’s snowing out right now.  Fat flakes are blanketing the ground, muffling the sound of whooshing cars and buses.  I’ve got that fuzzy glow one gets from awaking from a nap. There is coffee at my side, and I’m listening to some gentle music.  I am alone in the house and taking in my breathing,…

Fetch Me A Thesaurus, Lad – It’s Time For The Word Of The Year

I don’t make new year’s resolutions.  And perhaps outside of some running targets I have in mind, I also don’t have goals.  I don’t do vision boards, and I don’t write down any sort of plans or schemes.  Perhaps I should, but for the most part I don’t like attaching myself to things like that….

Searching and Fearless

Inventory. For those who aren’t in 12-step recovery, that word probably ushers in thoughts of Starbucks-fuelled grad students counting sweaters in the back of H&M as one part of their under-paid job requirements. Knit-One Pearl-Two while the supervisor, youngest of the crew, checks off the stock pars and lists any extra items or items that…

An Alcoholic’s Guide To Crashing And Burning During The Holidays

  Yeah.  Holidays.  There are countless parties and events planned.  Some of them are even fun (just kidding…ouch!).  Anyways, many folks in recovery find themselves a little fazed when it comes to the overwhelming ideals of what festivities are “supposed” to look like.  For many, especially early in their sobriety, this time of year can…

Who Are Your Eskimo Angels?

He reeked of booze.  And BO.  I stood beside a man on the bus the other day.  His swollen and busted up face caught my attention.  He had a hospital band on his wrist.  His dead eyes said it all.  In his hand was a bag full of rattling Olde English malt liquor bottles.  He…

Broken, Unbroken

These days are a blur, in some respects.  A whirlwind and yet standing still in some ways.  Like watching a top spin on the table.  Fixed, and yet eyes lost in the swirls of motion.  I run a lot these days.  I need to.  I like to.  And when I run, my body breaks down…

I Am Those Birds

There are times I wonder about this whole thing we do.  This recovery thing.  Why I am here and some other person just like me is out there still suffering in silence?  Or about to end their life.  Or about to take someone else’s in an accident.  Or about to be incarcerated for a long…

Linked, Within

  I’m on LinkedIn.  For those who aren’t familiar with it, it’s a sort of Facebook for professionals.  I’m not very active on it, but it seems to keep my email busy, as I get several notifications a day telling me that someone has linked to me, or joined my circle of pros.  And sometimes…

Fair’s Fare

  I’d see those guys every day.  I’d be waiting for the bus at the station, beat from my 12-hr work day, I’d pray that the bus would lumber up in the snow soon and swoop me into a nice heated seat.  When the bus finally pulled in, I would then watch the guys sneaking…