Fetch Me A Thesaurus, Lad – It’s Time For The Word Of The Year

I don’t make new year’s resolutions.  And perhaps outside of some running targets I have in mind, I also don’t have goals.  I don’t do vision boards, and I don’t write down any sort of plans or schemes.  Perhaps I should, but for the most part I don’t like attaching myself to things like that….

An Alcoholic’s Guide To Crashing And Burning During The Holidays

  Yeah.  Holidays.  There are countless parties and events planned.  Some of them are even fun (just kidding…ouch!).  Anyways, many folks in recovery find themselves a little fazed when it comes to the overwhelming ideals of what festivities are “supposed” to look like.  For many, especially early in their sobriety, this time of year can…

Bones In The Backyard

A few years ago, there was a young man who I supervised at work.  He was intelligent and well spoken.  But his performance wasn’t up to par.  He was very much involved with union politics and tried to leverage it and any sort of loopholes attached to them to his advantage.  He didn’t work very…

The Sentencing And The Veil

Friday came with an undertow of a calm anxiety, if one could put it like that.  The boys still needed to have their breakfast and change and play and get walked down to school.  My oldest threw snowballs at me the entire time making our way down to their classes, while the little one laughed….

Apples To Orangutans to Xylophones to Squatty Legs

You know what’s worse than doing something that is a no-winner?  Knowing what you’re doing in a no-winner.  You picking up what I’m putting down?  Like scarfing down a Costco-sized satchel of fig newtons and a pail of egg nog just before hitting Six Flag’s new Vomitorium Ad Nauseum roller coaster.  With vertigo and a…

Tuning, Turning, Tethering…And At Last, Breath.

But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight — Got to kick at the darkness ’til it bleeds daylight Bruce Cockburn, “Lovers in a Dangerous Time” If you had asked me on one of those first floundering days in detox what my overall goal was, I would have answered something along the lines of…

Chase The Happy, Lose The Sappy

Oh the Drama.  With a capital D. Well, not the Guiding Light or Real Housewives of Tagg Flats, Oklahoma (or whatever) kind of drama.  No sissy fights or paying off hired killers in leisure suits or wearing white after labor day kind of drama.  I mean the kind of drama that comes with being an…

Back When The Beaver Hit The Bong

Ah the good ol’ days. Well, more accurately, the past as we perceive through a hazy nostalgic set of goggles which are adjusted to a setting  that only allows us to acknowledge only what we want to see, deflecting and ignoring the things that don’t feed into the false ideal and image that we choose…

Dodging And Burning…Or Life Can’t Be Photoshopped.

I really used to be into photography – back when chemicals and darkrooms and countless hours developing paper in washes and acids was exciting and yet painfully tedious.  No “erase” buttons on the cameras back then.  Just hoping that the f Stops and depths-of-field were correct.  Bracket shots just in case.  Have lots of film…

Two Years

Two years ago, I took my last drink. A loving God separated me from alcohol on May 4, 2011, and for that I am eternally grateful. If I knew it would be my last drink, I would have made it a fancy one.  But we all know that our last drinks are rarely festive.  Our…

The Weight

I am not a waif. That is an understatement, by the way. But some of the guys in my treatment center were waifs – bean poles, the knocked-over-by-a-strong-wind type of body type that was part and parcel of addiction.  The drug addicts were the most malnourished.  So mealtime at the treatment center was a study…

Full Of It – My Days As A Hoarder

I don’t watch much TV.  In fact, I rarely watch it – I find my time gravitating towards on-line activities, so an hour of Angry Birds Star Wars and viewing bad 80’s music videos on YouTube constitutes R&R for me these days.  But I had a chance to watch Hoarders last night.  Hoarders, of course, is…