Just Another Friday Night Conversation With God

The appointments with Him are never scheduled. Well, at least they aren’t in any agenda book I have.  But He has his own timetable.  And shows up precisely when He’s needed.  And for me, it’s always been in the midst of a struggle / surrender / serenity cycle.  He’s the Closer when it comes to…

Worthy

  I am always hesitant when I write something here on the blog.  When I write, I am usually focusing in on something that is ruminating in my mind, or perhaps touching on something that I am going through.  Usually, what I am going through isn’t all-consuming as I may make it seem to be….

My Greatest Enemy

A friend of ours recently made an unexpected announcement – she had finished writing a screenplay.  Now, writing a screenplay for someone who writes screenplays for a living is hardly a shock.  Noble, indeed, but not something that involves going to the party section at Target for. Singing Telegrams need not apply. But our friend…

The Sentencing And The Veil

Friday came with an undertow of a calm anxiety, if one could put it like that.  The boys still needed to have their breakfast and change and play and get walked down to school.  My oldest threw snowballs at me the entire time making our way down to their classes, while the little one laughed….

Odd Fellows

I am a grateful recovered alcoholic. The first time I heard someone say that, I was taken aback, and thought it…odd.  Grateful?  For what exactly? We’re these sick, ostracized, mentally polluted and broken folk who have a lifetime of suffering and harm to make up for.  We’re this ragtag group of ne’er-do-wells who can’t hold their liquor,…

Tuning, Turning, Tethering…And At Last, Breath.

But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight — Got to kick at the darkness ’til it bleeds daylight Bruce Cockburn, “Lovers in a Dangerous Time” If you had asked me on one of those first floundering days in detox what my overall goal was, I would have answered something along the lines of…

Twenty One Days

(I read a post by Sherry at Maintain the Zen a few weeks ago, and it was just beautiful.  She wrote a letter to herself, speaking to herself as a little girl.  I guess it must have stayed with me, unconsciously, as tonight, without any provocation,  I felt guided to do something of the same….

Thirst Quenching

His craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God. – Carl Jung, in a letter to Bill Wilson, 1961 I am not a religious person. Doesn’t mean I am anti-religion.  I have just never taken to…

Two Years

Two years ago, I took my last drink. A loving God separated me from alcohol on May 4, 2011, and for that I am eternally grateful. If I knew it would be my last drink, I would have made it a fancy one.  But we all know that our last drinks are rarely festive.  Our…

My Story In So Many Words

My Story In So Many Words Birth. Joy. Playing. Betrayal. Hurt. Wounded. Alone. Loneliness. Moving.Shuffling. Isolating. Hiding. Drinking. Escaping. Hurting. Lying. Cheating. Stealing. Envying. Projecting. Hurling. Yelling. Puking. Sulking. Sobbing. Shaming. Angry. Suffering. Shaking. Panicking. Medicating. Risking. Fingerprinting. Booking. Remorse. Praying. Hoping. Meeting. Believing. Faith. Helping. Crying. Holding. Meditating. Sponsoring. Working. Being. Amending. Sharing. Writing. Smiling….