California (Wine) Dreamin’

I sat in the dark bar. My right leg twitched to the beat of the steel drums in my head. I clutched a beer in my shaky hands. I wasn’t shaky from withdrawls, but from the gulping-type sobs which came from the depth of my soul. “How did I do this again? What am I…

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish…

If there’s one thing I am learning to do in my life, it’s to let go of the things that no longer serve me.  But it’s not always easy.  I have always liked clutching onto things, grasping at stuff that clearly no longer did me any good.  These days, ego or pride or just good…

Cleaning Up – Makeover From Within

Prison.  Police shoot outs. Bankruptcy. Eating out of dumpsters. Violent assaults. Prostitution. These are some of the things that many alcoholics and addicts endure or participate in as part of the lifestyle of addiction.  No one chooses those paths, per se, but as the illness deepens, so does the reaction to keep the lifestyle intact. …

Searching and Fearless

Inventory. For those who aren’t in 12-step recovery, that word probably ushers in thoughts of Starbucks-fuelled grad students counting sweaters in the back of H&M as one part of their under-paid job requirements. Knit-One Pearl-Two while the supervisor, youngest of the crew, checks off the stock pars and lists any extra items or items that…

An Alcoholic’s Guide To Crashing And Burning During The Holidays

  Yeah.  Holidays.  There are countless parties and events planned.  Some of them are even fun (just kidding…ouch!).  Anyways, many folks in recovery find themselves a little fazed when it comes to the overwhelming ideals of what festivities are “supposed” to look like.  For many, especially early in their sobriety, this time of year can…

Who Are Your Eskimo Angels?

He reeked of booze.  And BO.  I stood beside a man on the bus the other day.  His swollen and busted up face caught my attention.  He had a hospital band on his wrist.  His dead eyes said it all.  In his hand was a bag full of rattling Olde English malt liquor bottles.  He…

Fallen

  I was running yesterday in a nearby park area and stumbled across a makeshift memorial site.  A young man, who lost his life several years ago, still being kept in memory by still-fresh flowers and keepsakes.  I had to stop and take it in.  I also had to keep in mind that this memorial…

March Of The Normies

“There’s no such thing as normal people – just people who haven’t shared yet.” – Unknown There is a word we bandy around in recovery circles that refers to those who aren’t in the grips of alcoholism or addiction.  A word for those who seem to “get” life and who seem to be gifted with…