Whirlwinds And Wound Healers

  “I’m not hurting anyone but myself.” This is a common declaration from active alcoholics when confronted about our drinking and our poor behaviour. You’ll find that nestled amongst other groovy expressions like “I know, but—” and “I’m fine” in the well-worn Handbook of Delusional Lines for Drunks we often kept in the library of…

How To Get Six Years of Sobriety

  On May 4th, I celebrated six continuous years of sobriety. Cue the happy dance. “How did you do it? How did you get six years, Pauly?” someone asked me the other day. I paused and gave him a short, but meaningful answer. It fell in line with where I am in my recovery and…

The Dangers Of “Wine O’Clock”

I don’t know if I’m qualified to write this, but I’m going to do it anyways. I am not a stay at home mother. I am not even female. I don’t viscerally and emotionally know what it’s like to be a woman in a patriarchal society. I don’t know, firsthand, the pressures involved in living…

No Shame In Shame

It seems that the longer I go down this journey of uncovering, discovering (and hopefully discarding and/or applying), the less I seem to know. The more I understand, the less I truly understand. The more questions I seem to answer only creates even more questions, like bunny rabbits left unchecked with Barry White music left…

Lights, Fixtures

  With all due respect to The Moz, there is a light that goes out. This past January was a dismal 31 days in my city, weather-wise. We had the lowest amount of sunlight recorded- 48 hours to be exact – in a month. I wouldn’t say I was depressed, but I had to crack out…

Counting On Us

So what day are you at in your recovery? 13? 9? Creeping up to one year of sobriety? When I recently returned to the blogosphere, after a two or so year hiatus, the one thing I did was to scan the sober recovery horizon and try to reconnect with old friends and their sites. I…

Walking The Walk

My body has waged war on me. Now, there is nothing serious afoot. Please withhold flowers and singing cookiegrams (although I would graciously take them). I understand that I am probably encroaching on clickbait-style headlines with that start (was this fake news? I don’t know), but sometimes you have to grab them by the cojones…

California (Wine) Dreamin’

I sat in the dark bar. My right leg twitched to the beat of the steel drums in my head. I clutched a beer in my shaky hands. I wasn’t shaky from withdrawls, but from the gulping-type sobs which came from the depth of my soul. “How did I do this again? What am I…

Birdy Numb Numb

I blame it on the rain. Frozen rain, to be exact. Our tale starts innocently enough—the hero gets up pre-dawn for work and checks the weather. He inspects the street out front through his window. No ice. He unlocks his bike and notices no ice coating it like slime on Bill Murray’s Ghostbuster. The rain…

Let it Floe

I was riding my bike home a few days ago and stopped at a red light. While I waited for the light to change, I saw a woman stop by a homeless man and offer him a large bag. He fingered through the bag, and started to pull out one sweater after another. Different colours….

Tire-less Efforts

It starts with the slowdown. Then the heaviness follows. It feels like I’m wearing bricks for boots. The wobbling then ensues. Then a look downwards confirms it—a flat tire. Damn. I was riding back home from work a few days ago, backpack filled to capacity with groceries. Winter early blackness and bleakness tarred the sky….

Bringing It Back Home

It’s that feeling in the belly of the heart which pulls and twists and contorts towards a light in the distance. The light is a guidance system, a GPS borne of the stars, a tug at the tides which wash upon the shore of my spirit. If I turn my head to that light, hand…