California (Wine) Dreamin’

I sat in the dark bar. My right leg twitched to the beat of the steel drums in my head. I clutched a beer in my shaky hands. I wasn’t shaky from withdrawls, but from the gulping-type sobs which came from the depth of my soul. “How did I do this again? What am I…

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish…

If there’s one thing I am learning to do in my life, it’s to let go of the things that no longer serve me.  But it’s not always easy.  I have always liked clutching onto things, grasping at stuff that clearly no longer did me any good.  These days, ego or pride or just good…

One Foot In Front Of The Other

I was contacted by Marilyn Spiller aka the loving spirit and writer behind Waking Up the Ghost blog to do a joint post of sorts in which we explore a common experience we’ve both have had (and continue to have) – that of communion with God while doing something physically active.  I was honoured to…

Cleaning Up – Makeover From Within

Prison.  Police shoot outs. Bankruptcy. Eating out of dumpsters. Violent assaults. Prostitution. These are some of the things that many alcoholics and addicts endure or participate in as part of the lifestyle of addiction.  No one chooses those paths, per se, but as the illness deepens, so does the reaction to keep the lifestyle intact. …

Transformation to Stillness

I was honoured to be asked to write a guest post for fellow traveller and seeker extraordinaire Dan Maurer, for his fabulous website/ blog “Dan The Story Man”.     Dan has a wonderful series of posts that fall under the umbrella of Transformation, and the stories are inspiring and often recovery-based. I am very pleased…

The Story Of The Bamboo

In the east there was a master gardener who loved to walk through his garden every evening looking at the many plants he had taken care of.  Of all the plants in the garden, none was greater, or nobler as the mighty Bamboo.  Indeed, Bamboo was the very best in the entire garden and the…

Just Another Friday Night Conversation With God

The appointments with Him are never scheduled. Well, at least they aren’t in any agenda book I have.  But He has his own timetable.  And shows up precisely when He’s needed.  And for me, it’s always been in the midst of a struggle / surrender / serenity cycle.  He’s the Closer when it comes to…

The Thief Of Joy

If there is a character defect of mine that likes to weigh me down, it’s that of comparing myself to others.  Yes, I have written about this before, and I am sorry to say, I will probably write about it again. And perhaps again after that. You’ve been warned. I am not sure why, but…

Sifting Through The Bones Of My Existence

It’s snowing out right now.  Fat flakes are blanketing the ground, muffling the sound of whooshing cars and buses.  I’ve got that fuzzy glow one gets from awaking from a nap. There is coffee at my side, and I’m listening to some gentle music.  I am alone in the house and taking in my breathing,…

Searching and Fearless

Inventory. For those who aren’t in 12-step recovery, that word probably ushers in thoughts of Starbucks-fuelled grad students counting sweaters in the back of H&M as one part of their under-paid job requirements. Knit-One Pearl-Two while the supervisor, youngest of the crew, checks off the stock pars and lists any extra items or items that…