Breaking The Stigma Of Alcoholism And Addiction From Within

I am a white-passing, middle-aged, professional, able-bodied heterosexual cisgender male. Therefore, I have never suffered at the hands of racism or sexism, implied or declared. I have not been denied a job interview or pulled over by the police haphazardly because of my skin colour, name or gender. I am in a place of privilege,…

Do You Even Blog, Bro?

So it goes something like this: Describe something small and seemingly innocuous Dig to find some deeper spiritual principles that goes with it (use sweeping motifs – people love that shit) Stagger some semi-humourous photos with gag-like captions Finish strong with some lofty ideals and a more serious, uplifting picture. That, my friends, is how…

Biting Your Own Teeth

Who are you? What are your passions? What do you want? Orchestral and reaching questions. Too much to think about when lining up to buy your cat food and mouthwash. The type of questions left for the magical “one day” when you are meditating on a mountaintop and the answers come flowing out of you like…

Shitty Shitty Bang Bang

I have been feeling rather shitty lately. Not the kind of bummed-out-that-my-team-didn’t-win-last-night type of shitty, but the kind where your wife asks you, in a light-hearted way, if you are going to pick up again or worse, harm yourself. The type that duct tapes a black garbage bag over you while submerged in alien snot-slime…

Whirlwinds And Wound Healers

  “I’m not hurting anyone but myself.” This is a common declaration from active alcoholics when confronted about our drinking and our poor behaviour. You’ll find that nestled amongst other groovy expressions like “I know, but—” and “I’m fine” in the well-worn Handbook of Delusional Lines for Drunks we often kept in the library of…

How To Get Six Years of Sobriety

  On May 4th, I celebrated six continuous years of sobriety. Cue the happy dance. “How did you do it? How did you get six years, Pauly?” someone asked me the other day. I paused and gave him a short, but meaningful answer. It fell in line with where I am in my recovery and…

Lights, Fixtures

  With all due respect to The Moz, there is a light that goes out. This past January was a dismal 31 days in my city, weather-wise. We had the lowest amount of sunlight recorded- 48 hours to be exact – in a month. I wouldn’t say I was depressed, but I had to crack out…

Walking The Walk

My body has waged war on me. Now, there is nothing serious afoot. Please withhold flowers and singing cookiegrams (although I would graciously take them). I understand that I am probably encroaching on clickbait-style headlines with that start (was this fake news? I don’t know), but sometimes you have to grab them by the cojones…

California (Wine) Dreamin’

I sat in the dark bar. My right leg twitched to the beat of the steel drums in my head. I clutched a beer in my shaky hands. I wasn’t shaky from withdrawls, but from the gulping-type sobs which came from the depth of my soul. “How did I do this again? What am I…

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish…

If there’s one thing I am learning to do in my life, it’s to let go of the things that no longer serve me.  But it’s not always easy.  I have always liked clutching onto things, grasping at stuff that clearly no longer did me any good.  These days, ego or pride or just good…

One Foot In Front Of The Other

I was contacted by Marilyn Spiller aka the loving spirit and writer behind Waking Up the Ghost blog to do a joint post of sorts in which we explore a common experience we’ve both have had (and continue to have) – that of communion with God while doing something physically active.  I was honoured to…

Cleaning Up – Makeover From Within

Prison.  Police shoot outs. Bankruptcy. Eating out of dumpsters. Violent assaults. Prostitution. These are some of the things that many alcoholics and addicts endure or participate in as part of the lifestyle of addiction.  No one chooses those paths, per se, but as the illness deepens, so does the reaction to keep the lifestyle intact. …