I haven’t done a “word of the year” in about six or seven years. I think the last time I did it, it was here on Message In A Bottle.
But there is a word that keeps popping up for me lately. It’s been a hell of a year, in terms of growth and change, personally and business-wise (which, really, are the same thing. How we do one thing is how we do all things, right?)
But the word that keeps coming up for me in prayer and meditation:
Releasing unrealistic expectations of myself.
Releasing old stories that haven’t served me in ages but I still hold onto.
Releasing things that aren’t mine to carry…and never were in the first place.
Releasing resentments and hurts that only serve to corrode me.
Releasing harmful egoic thoughts of myself.
Releasing the need to be right or the best.
You see, I have been holding onto way too much lately. Envy, jealousy, grief, hurt, expectations…all of which has been keeping me small, keeping me down on my knees, keeping me in low levels of energy, keeping me in catabolic thinking.
Keeping me down and wondering what’s the point of it all.
Keeping me in my head.
And being in my head is not a good thing.
They say that the problem with being in your head is that you get bad advice there.
Boy are they right.
Take a deep breath in. Now hold it. Keep holding it past the point where you want to exhale. Keep doing it. Your stomach starts to hurt. You start getting a headache. You get very uncomfortable.
Remember this state before you let go of your breath. Exhale.
That feeling you just got?
And that is my goal this year, which has already started.
Letting go is the hardest, but most powerful things we all can do.
The questions that pops up is: who will I be if I let go off all this baggage?
Eek. That’s a tough one. I mean, that’s scary, right? So scary that it’s almost easier to hold onto all that other shit instead.
And that’s where I have been stuck lately.
But this is just a chapter in a book that is always being written. And where WE are the authors.
As a friend of mine recently wrote in a post recently about authoring our own story:
“But what if this author was kind, compassionate, and not malicious at all – and that everything that you’ve been through was exactly what was needed for you to finally step into a whole new chapter of life?”
What if we RELEASE this need for self-flagellation and just live in the way that Creator / Universe / Source would have us live?
RELEASE control and let us be guided instead of forcing a round peg into a square hole?
Look to RELEASE ourselves from the tyranny of our own making?
Holy shit that would be great!
And that’s my lesson too, my friend (and if you’re read this far, you are a true friend and soul).
We’re all works-in-progress, guys…and I know I too have lots to work on. But it’s happening, and I know that 2020 will be lighter, freer and less encumbered by weights that we put on ourselves.
What are YOU releasing? What are you leaving behind in 2019?