Rewriting The Power Of Intentions


“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

It’s all about intentions.

Do you remember when you were single and were “on the prowl”? Many thousands of years ago, before I was married, I remember going out with the intention of finding a female with low enough standards to hang out with me. Who wouldn’t want to chill out with a single, nerdy, boozy, insecure, awkward guy like me? I was a catch. I would stand at the back of bars (or when I was truly slumming, clubs – see: white men can’t dance), and magically emanate desperation vibes. The women picked up on this and responded by circumnavigating around me to get to the bar and avoiding my puppy dog glares. (Note: never glare. It’s creepy.)

But then of course, whenever I was lucky enough to snag a temporary hostage love bunny, all of a sudden there was lots of interest in me. It was if something shifted. The fact that I was no longer looking, that I was feeling confident about myself, and that I was no longer engaging in flag semaphore d’amour brought about a change in my vibe. I felt that I was still the same person, but there was a different energy about me. I knew that because of how others responded.

Not this kind of club. This is the one I can’t talk about. Forget you saw this, actually.

I mention this because I realize the power of intention goes beyond simple dating (isn’t it all just now “swipe left”?) What I didn’t know then and I know now is that my intention was misplaced. When my intention was to better myself, to be myself completely, to be relaxed in my own skin, then the attraction was there. This also went for non-romantic relationships as well. Friendships were forged on the anvil of authenticity. The thin veils of disingenuity did not serve me well. When my intention was to be adored and fawned over, the opposite was manifested.

I have been opening myself up to new intentions as of late. And it hasn’t taken long for the universe to respond.

I have been struggling with my writing for a while now. I blog once every three to four weeks now. I used to blog several times a week at one point. My podcasts are often one every two months. It’s been a struggle to tap into my voice, and to mine the thoughts and emotions trapped in the salt stores below. It’s been a challenge to sit and actually write without poisoning myself beforehand with negative and self-sabotaging thoughts. I know that deep down I am meant to write. It’s not that I can’t write, but I have fostered a difficult relationship with it – an artistic stalemate with my creative self.

A friend mentioned how The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron was helpful to him. I had heard of the now-classic book, but never actually read it. So I ordered it. The next day, I was starting my morning pages. Morning pages are just that – three pages written in longhand, first thing in the morning. The idea is to have uncensored thoughts put down, in the effort to foster the artist child within, and to help break down any resistance to the creative energy within. I also do affirmations. I have meditated on this as well, and have made the concrete intention to attend to my writing from now on. I made a firm decision to make a commitment to my commitment in building my writer self up. To loosen up. Doubling down on my need to create.

Since that I made that internal declaration, I have had some events cross my path. I had a writer friend invite me into an informal writing circle. I was recommended another book by yet another writer friend who said that the introduction reminded her of me (which is correct, after purchasing the book and reading it), and which is helping me to navigate my creative path. At the library, the very first book I picked up in the writing section contained a postcard inside, which mentioned a launch (I am assuming a book launch) – something that I will be having in a few months after my book is published. I also found out an old acquaintance had just written a book in his field of expertise – math. I purchased that book as well as a sort of psychic energy investment. Also, I dig math books.

Who says math is boring? Think outside the box…or, erm, triangle.

These are small signs, but signs nonetheless. I take them as markers along the path, to show the way, to indicate that my feet are moving in the right direction. It shows that perhaps I am honouring what needs to be honoured. I am frightened in one way, but excited in another. What I am aware of it that the newness and novelty will wear off and that I will be mired in the mess of me and will understand that I will have to navigate through that. I have always been a brilliant starter of things, and a poor finisher. Getting through the muck, halfway, is where I traditionally have fled, looking for the new shiny thing to spark my interests.

That is where the real work will be – sticking with it, even when I don’t want to. And that is where the morning pages help. Regardless of what my mood is, the pages get done. It’s good practice for when I don’t “feel like” doing anything. Stories and books aren’t created by mood. They are built on work. Any creative endeavor is moulded by ass-in-chair or ass-in-studio drudgery and grind. They say that in recovery we trudge the road of happiness. There is no destination – the road is the journey itself. And that is creative work as well. It’s the process rather than the finished work which is what speaks to me. Of course completing pieces is important, but I don’t get there without pushing my way through the tough stuff, the pull towards not doing the work.

Author and illustrator Matthew Inman created a popular running comic strip / book which talks about the Blerch. The Blerch is a fat cherub who follows him while running. The Blerch is lazy. It will talk you out of running. It will taunt you while you’re out on your jog. It will beg you to take a nap before going, maybe have some snacks instead. It questions why you run in the first place. It insists that watching TV would be more fun. I know this Blerch well. Everyone has a Blerch in one more aspects of their lives. Mine likes to point out the softer, easier way of doing things. It follows me when I run as well, but it also enjoys lingering over me when I am at the keyboard or when I hover my pen over my notebook. It likes to entice me with the idea of watching martial arts clips on YouTube or eating a plate of lasagna. Or going to bed early.

They’re gonna feel this one in the morning. Especially baldy.

 

The wonderful thing about intentions is that it helps to swat the Blerch away. It diminishes the impact of the inner critic, the censor, the voices which conspire to remove me away from what serves me. The Blerch’s voice is stronger when things are tough, but that is when I start to lean on my intentions. Intentions, by the way, need to be bold and brazen, engraved in marble like a monument plaque. Half-hearted nonsense can walk its way out the door. This is Chuck-Norris-planting-the-butt-of-his-rifle-into-the-dirt-beside-his-boots type declarations. The only way that the seeds of change can blossom within (the subconscious) and without (the Universe) is through a charged thought, an electrified motive. One that is in sync with our authentic self. Otherwise there is no change.

I have made these intentions with cutting out sugar, with my running, with my workouts, and with my work. Once I have set them in motion, the current carries them. I find the time, the energy, the focus to manifest them. “Things” happen around me. Promotions, weight loss, increased mobility, stronger family relationships, etc. These are born out of a proclamation to put things in order. To strengthen what is weak.

So my intentions are there. I want to work on my writing. I also want to change my career. For some reason, my instinct tells me that working on the writing may have an impact of some sort in my career change. Not necessarily that I will write for a living (I’m not that mad! Sorry my darling writer friends!), but I think the process will help me to see that the improbable is more than likely if I attend to that vibration. But I know from experience that it starts with the intention. A decision to make the sacrifices needs to affect the shift. Writing it out daily embeds into into my DNA code, into my memory banks. It’s the new company logo.

I’m no longer on the prowl, but I am looking for that new catch, and that requires me to focus on me and where I can stretch and grow into a new dream. That’s what I intend to do.

29 Comments Add yours

  1. Thank you for this! This is what I needed to read today! Intention is so much more than just a proclamation. To me, intention also includes action. The actions needed to make the intent come to fruition. And so often in the process, things that we’ve never thought of unfold for us. Intention takes work and commitment. And belief in oneself. And often telling that voice that wants to keep us down to just STF Up!

    1. Paul S says:

      Yes! Action! I should have made that more clear…you are right about that. It’s also about accountability in some ways too, at least for me it is. I can declare all I want, but sitting on my couch won’t get me to where I want to be. And you are also right about things unfolding in ways we never thought of. That’s the universe at work, giving us more than we thought we wanted or needed. Opening doors we never even knew existed. Great feedback – thanks so much!

  2. byebyebeer says:

    Excellent read, fine writer. I had no idea you were feeling stalled, though guess many of us get like that and don’t talk about it hope it passes (a most depressing club). How nice to be tapped in and open to the ever helpful word of the universe. I hope I’m never deaf to it and want to hear more. This was just so uplifting – thanks.

    1. Paul S says:

      Thanks Kristen. I appreciate this. I have been struggling for a while, but not for lack of trying. I would start a post, then stop. And I would do this for weeks, almost every other day. It’s like I feel the need to say something, but unable to express it or follow through with it. So looking forward to doing more consistent work.

      1. soberisland says:

        I get excited when I see you have made a post. Please be more frequent : )

        1. Paul S says:

          Thank you! That means a lot to me that you said that. I am going to do my best to be a lot more frequent. I have to tackle the podcast too 🙂

  3. Hearon (HD) says:

    I believe in you, Paul, and feel certain the path will take you to the right places.

    1. Paul S says:

      Thank you Hearon. I really appreciate this. I really hope something comes from it. I can already feel like things are opening up just a bit. I am honoured by your confidence in this.

  4. O Paul! It’s so wonderful to hear your voice again and read your fine writing! (Plus . . . BONUS with the new website look—very clean. Nice!) Intentions often pave the road to hell, or at least perdition. The rubber meets the road when the prowl for a new mate in avocations (since you’re extremely lucky with your REAL relationship to have found someone wonderful!) begins to develop into habits of sitting the ass down to the keyboard to tickle “her.” Okay, now I’ve gone and mixed so many metaphors that my message is probably lost! I quite while I’m still ahead somewhat.

    Always a pleasure, my friend! Thank you!

    Danno

    1. Paul S says:

      Thanks for this Danno! I understand what you say about the actions and not just littering the road with my intentions. I don’t take them lightly. I have a quick giver-upper, so I have to be vigilant, as you know. I am hoping that this turn of events and thoughts will blossom into something. What that something is…I have no idea! So I guess just putting faith in faith is what I have now.
      Now I am rambling! Thanks for this and thanks for the kudos on the new space. It needed it. Felt cluttered. Need to feel free like your space does!

    2. Paul JFT says:

      Ditto! new website look—very clean. Nice!

      1. Paul S says:

        thanks Paul! Nice to see you here 🙂

  5. Paul JFT says:

    Believe it and do it!

    1. Paul S says:

      I will, Paul. I am putting faith not only in the Universe, but also myself. Not an easy task! I hope you are doing well, Paul.

  6. saoirsek says:

    Great post great images Love the Blerch S x

    1. Paul S says:

      Ha! I figured you know the Blerch. What a great strip / concept. The Oatmeal is fantastic. Thanks for the read and comment!

  7. The Artist’s Way did help me tremendously, but I have been blessed with a powerful Blerch. Right now, I am up early to finish the third chapter of my book, which is due Monday, and instead, I am reading blog posts and drinking coffee. For hours. I think my Blerch teams up with my inner critic to convince me to lolligag my days away. But setting intentions is so powerful! I’ve been reading some of Mike Dooley’s books and listening to his podcasts, and it’s made a great difference. I like his approach as opposed to the usual goal setting b.s.
    Off to work!

    1. Paul S says:

      Oh, now you have me needing to Google Mike Dooley! I am excited for you for your book! Are you sending partial chapters to someone? Or this is a deadline you put on yourself to get it done? Nothing wrong with reading blogs and sipping coffee! I need to catch up on my blogs – I have not been on top of them as I usually am. If I am not writing, I am usually trying to read and/or respond to blogs, but I haven’t been as diligent. I enjoy the camaraderie of getting to know others through their blogs. Anyway, good luck on the chapter!

      1. Thank you, Paul. I do have someone reading chapters — it’s been a Godsend for me because 1) I can procrastinate for years at a time, and 2) She’s incredibly encouraging and has been down the publishing road already. You’re lucky in that you already have a social media “presence” with which to launch your book, while I have been in hiding, hoping no one finds my blog. This all has to change, of course.
        Do you have someone reading your chapters as well? It sounds like you are a lot closer to the finish line.

        1. Paul S says:

          My book is pretty much done. I am waiting for the final physical proof to be sent to me to give it one final okay before it gets sent for pre-release reviews and then to amazon, etc.

          1. Wow! That’s amazing. You must have such a feeling of accomplishment. You’re my idol now. I know it’s possible to complete a manuscript.

          2. Paul S says:

            Not quite there yet, but yes, I think it will feel more like an accomplishment once it’s all sort of done! And yes, it’s totally possible to complete a manuscript!

  8. And who is this man? Swinging his way out of the corner? What a great post to read. Your intentions are guiding you deeper into this thing. Artists Way is awesome! It helped me through a rut as well.

    I still call my journal stuff “pages”.

    I echo HD, Danno, and many others in the comments: I believe in you. What an exciting time to be Paul!

    I’m coming off a weird weekend in regards to writing. I was a chaperone on our football teams trip. I dreamt of rocking out page upon page, doing some revisions on that novel. I did next to none of these.

    Writing is such a solitary process. And with a gregarious roommate, I found myself just hanging out, and sort of hating myself for it. Hating myself for wasting the opportunities.

    1. Paul S says:

      Hi Mark,

      Thanks so much for this. I really appreciate the encouragement and support…as always!

      I have times like that – bringing my notebook or laptop somewhere, hoping to make strides in some kind of writing, and then I have to do things like “socialize” and “be present”…ha ha. The book I am reading about writing (A Forest for the Trees) has a great line about being in solitary in an effort to reach out to so many. Maybe you can use that gregarious roommate as further fodder down the line. Sometimes fate has it in for us!

      I am hoping that the pages help, and I think they have. At least I am writing, and that alone is a miracle (of the mundane kind). More to come I hope!

  9. Hi Paul!
    I love reading this! It made me feel good! Intentions are really important, and then comes the work, just like you said. I think you are wonderful writer, and I am really glad you are continuing this journey! I think all writers have times they can’t think of an idea, so I love how you have opened up to the Universe to help you!
    I am in your corner, and I will send a GIANT intention of a pencil or pen and paper your way! With Lots of words!!
    xoxo
    Wendy

    1. Paul S says:

      Thank you so much, Wendy! I appreciate the read and comments, and especially the giant intention thrown my way. I often feel that giving it up to the Universe is the best way to approach things. I sometimes hate not being in control, and certainly I am in control of my actions (as you said, action is important), but the outcome – that’s a different story. Since I have started on this little intentions thing, so much has opened for me. It’s been amazing – stuff out of my realm, things I never would have thought of. It’s as if the Universe is trying to take care of me. I will let it.
      thank you so much Wendy.

  10. Debbie says:

    Did I here mention of a book? 🙂 Keep us informed on its publish date. I will be the first to sign up for it! Love you, Paul.

    1. Paul S says:

      Will do Debbie! It’s been a slooowwwww process, but it will get there. Thanks!

  11. Small, consistent actions are the only way…my perfectionist streak will often derail my passion pursuits. I usually ‘over reach’ then become immobilised by fear of failure. I have Julia Cameron’s book. Need to dig it out. x

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