Myth Busting With A Rocket Launcher


I ain't crying cubes, but I when it comes to cold, I am squarely sad.
I ain’t crying cubes, but I when it comes to cold, I can squarely set my sights on “sad”.

“I don’t ride in snow. Period.”

This is something I have said countless times. It’s been a rather nasty winter this year, and those who know me also know about my almost religious attachment to my bicycle riding. So they will often ask me whether I am going to hop onto my two wheels when the days turn f-ugly.

Now, my familiar refrain would be to tell them that no matter how cold it is, I will ride. Temperature isn’t something that will cause me to wipe out.  “Cold” doesn’t need shovelling or plowing.  Cold is a state of mind, and if my state of mind is right, I can ride through sub-Arctic climates.  When my mind is not right, a random draft of wind on a summer’s eve might send me off shivering.

For years I dared not traverse tra-la-la in the wet and white stuff because you know…well, just because.  Apparently one could wipe out.  Fall under a bus.  Have the vehicle smite me from this earthly plane.  It’s happened before. Not a situation I could cite, but in my mind I am just sure that it’s happened.  Must be on the interweb somewhere. My mind knows even when it doesn’t, capisce?   That is how the ego and the justification / rationalization of my mushy mind rolls.   But the fact remains is that I have no direct experience in riding in snow. Never really have.  So why the mental block?

I lived much of my life under the default position of “I can’t do that”.  No matter what it was, how difficult or easy it may have been, it would seem that I was genetically incapable of giving anything an honest college try. Unless it involved me getting more drinks in me, then sure.  Self-seeking is a gas. Same thing with opinions – I venerated my own opinions regardless of annoying roadblocks like facts, experience or evidence.  There seems to have been a hard line set in the embryonic stage of my (under) development. A border that had Stormtroopers all over it, falling prey to Jedi mind tricks.  Even when things were possible, the line remained firm. Berlin wall type firm.

Sure he's good.  But is he Harlem Shake good?
Sure he’s good…but is he Harlem Shake good? Think about it – don’t answer so quickly. No rush.

Because when I set my mind to something, it’s as good as gold.  Regardless of the veracity of the thought, it sets and sits like concrete in my mind.  “Knitting’s for dames”, “Rock climbing is dangerous”, “Blind Melon sucks” (they do suck…oops, I mean their unique blend of rock and endearing psychedelic folk music isn’t for me) .  Blanket statements fall from me like ticket taper on a Super Bowl winner’s parade.  While some of what I think and feel is borne out of true direct and indirect experience, much of what sticks to me has no basis on any sort of proof.  Sounds a bit, you know, presumptuous, eh?

In the 12-step basic text, there is a quote that is attributed to Herbert Spencer, but is really from William Paley (if you’re keeping score) and it reads:

There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which can not fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation.”

Contempt prior to investigation.  I’ve written about it before.  Will probably write about it again.  And again.  It sums it all up, for me.  All the negativity, the naysaying, the self-righteousness, the terminal uniqueness, the utter fears and the isolating…so much of that comes from the place that I know better without actually taking the time and effort to see otherwise. In other words, keeping a closed mind.  And a closed mind, like a small room with a paint-shut window, remains stale and bereft of light.

Selfie
Selfie

Contempt prior to investigation keeps me barricaded against the Creator’s plan for me.  It keeps me crushed under the stone of ego.  It keeps me in the ref’s chair above the tennis match of life, with a blindfold on, yet still judging wildly.  It darkens the areas of my life which require light to survive. And it can be the small things like “I don’t like Mexican food” to the bigger “I hate all foreign cars” to even “I will never get sober – guys like me were meant to die young”.  In all these cases, it’s a matter of answering back “Says you”.  Huh?  Have you tried every single Mexican dish, or are you basing that statement on a bad burrito from Taco Bell, which is about as Mexican as a Smurf is a Space Shuttle? have you driven every Volkswagen, Porsche, Audi, etc. on the planet?  Have you ever tried a recovery program with complete honesty and willingness?

And those are the kind of things that pass through me all the time.  “Says you” is my way of telling my self (my ego self, my closed-minded self, my contemptuous self) that it’s just an opinion that is based on nothing but fear, laziness or the unwillingness to reach out and just try something new. “Says you” is that husky voice that demands me to delve in a bit deeper and substantiate my claim.  No ticket, no ride, buster.  Get into the back of the line and try again to get on the Pile Driver Water Slide.

This ties into so many things – it’s inextricable from so much within.  When I make blanket statements that really may not be true, I am being dishonest now, aren’t I?  I am being judgemental, yes?  I am being selfish, fearful at times too.  Sounds a bit like an inventory session, if you ask me.  And I do ask me.  Not that having an opinion is wrong.  We have opinions.  Opinions can be strong, mild and plain – just like chicken wing sauces.  Nothing wrong with opinions.  I just have to ask myself where they come from and are they authentic to me.

And when I am not authentic, I get fuzzy in the mind.  Crusty in the soul.  Twisted up mentally and spiritually.  I am not really centered.  I am a bit…off.  I have had my share of off, thank you very much, so I will do my best to stay centered.  Contempt prior to investigation cuts me off from the Sunlight of the Spirit.  It dulls the mind.  It tells me that the gates are closing and the moat is overflowing.  You shall not pass, Frodo.

Not to scale, of course.  But you get the picture.
Not to scale, of course. Sun rays may or may not appear as squiggly in real life.

So what I try to do is keep my opinions on the up and up. Keep exaggeration and hyperbole kept low or non-existent.  Fly straight. Minimize the boastful and prideful. Stay open to other opinions (that’s the tough one!) Leave room after my meal for the dessert of appeal and discourse.  Prepare to be wrong about a LOT of things.  I mean, a LOT.  Do some investigating before flapping my gums or striking keys on the board.  Invoke empathy.  All these things are intertwined into the whole plane of serenity, for me.

When I keep an open mind, I am keeping open the endless possibilities of not only being wrong, but of the growth that comes with that.  I am keeping open the chances to find new passions and loves.  I am keeping open the chances of getting deeper into something.  I am keeping open the avenues of exploration, fun, balance and excitement.  I am giving myself a chance to live in a new now, a new normal, a new playground.  I get to see that being right does not mean being happy.

It’s all about personal myth-busting. With a rocket launcher.

And as for my not riding in snow?  Ever?  I took a chance during our storm the other day.  Sought out a new mental pathway.  And a new snowy pathway too. Slogged around The Big Smoke like a boss. And I never once flew ass-over-teakettle, I might add.

I guess I do ride in snow now, after all.

IMG-20140205-00864
Evidence, yo.

42 Comments Add yours

  1. Glenn says:

    Oh contempt begat of fear.

    As we all know, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to the dark side, it does.

    It takes a lot out of me to find the humility to not know, the transparency to admit it and the vulnerability to be open to being wrong and listening to another who may be right. I love the vehicle, and not just the bike, that you used to get your message across. Then again, you do often find me blathering about your writing which is always a spot-on read.

    Thank you for setting me up for a fine night before cashing out my friend. Yours is great work and always a pleasure to see.
    Take care Paul.

    1. Thanks Glenn – you are also very kind and generous with your words. I like that Star Wars reference there…ha ha.

      I really liked the word “transparency” the way you used it. It really speaks to where we are going on our journey, how we shed the layers of duplicity and poor intentions and motives. And yes, fear! Oh lordy, if fear were to be erased, how we could truly live freely! Fear is my number one issue…but all the fears are dwindling. They will never ever leave me, but they are slowly being chipped away at.

      Thanks Glenn for your comments – always a joy to see ya here 🙂

      Paul

  2. Jean says:

    Hmm.. I think it time for me to think about my absolutes. I guess maybe I’ll have to stop saying I’ve lived on this earth for over 50 years and have learned a few things to my kids. Maybe I’ll have to stop thinking I could never step foot in an AA meeting. I guess when I say I always or I never is when I have to step back and think and maybe reconsider. Thanks for the post.

    1. Hi Jean. Absolutes…amazing how sometimes those absolutes aren’t so absolute, eh? I think of my old drinking absolutes – I won’t drink before driving. I won’t drink during the day. I won’t drink…blah blah blah. And those lines got fuzzy quickly, didn’t they? I can only speak for myself on that one. And you’re right – it’s good to look at these things and reconsider. Just the act of reconsidering is an action…and for a guy like me, that’s big stuff. Big. So now you have me looking at this in a new light.

      As for AA – I hope that you get to where you need to be. Lots of things stop us from walking in the rooms. Shame. Guilt. Fear. I had to walk past all these things myself. No one goes in on a roll, that’s for sure. 🙂

      Blessings and thank you for being here.

      Paul

  3. Lauren says:

    Is it unfair to say you lost me at “Blind Melon sucks”? Kudos for throwing the two wheels on the white stuff. I barely throw my hands on a shovel during snow, so handlebars are rather far off on my mental horizon.
    One thing I always say is, “I don’t camp.” That’s just since getting sober. I realized I only liked being outdoorsy when I was hammered for it. I’ve wondered if I should give it a shot again. Now it would be with kids and that world that surrounds them, not booze, cigs, staring at a fire and passing out. Might be worth a shot…might.
    I am pretty certain of this, though…
    I will NOT camp in the snow! 😉

    1. Ha! I don’t know how Blind Melon got into my head when writing this, considering I haven’t heard from them in forever, and I certainly don’t listen to them. Maybe it was just to be a contentious point for you to pick up on…lol. (I never understood the girl bee in their videos)

      I don’t camp! I laughed because I was in that way of thinking my whole life until…I camped. This past summer. I may have written about it, but I can’t seem to find that post. Same thing – I held fast to this belief that I am not one of “those” people (I said the same about jogging – and voila, I jog now). And yet, there I was two nights out in the wilderness. Not exactly something I loved with a capital “L”, but it was nowhere as bad as I thought it would be. Will probably do it again this year. So I get where you are coming from.

      Camping in the snow…ok, I am with you there. There’s open mindedness and then there is nuts! I spent enough drunken years as certifiably insane…rather stick with the sane 🙂

      Thanks for being here, Lauren. And just for you – a video. From “them”:

  4. jrj1701 says:

    Good job, Paul, and I ain’t got use to all this white stuff yet, so riding a bike in it to me takes more cojones then this silly hillbilly has. When it snows I use to hide out until it was gone, which was three days at tops. I haven’t seen nothing but snow for two months. Well I have survived and even drove a car in this abominable stuff. Can’t wait for spring.

    1. I am with you on the spring thing. I normally enjoy winter. With snow comes milder temperatures. With cold temperatures comes frosty walks and clear skies. But this winter has had everything all thrown together – ice storms, blistery winds WITH snow, non-stop precipitation…I’ve had it! I wish I could hibernate there too. Have some mugs of hot chocolate. Scream at the clouds. That kind of thing.

      Nice to see ya, JR! Stay warm!

      Paul

  5. lifecorked says:

    Love this, Paul! I remember reading that section and hearing people talk about it in the rooms and I had NO idea what they were talking about. Then one day I figured it out (probably from my sponsor) and I thought “oh yeah, I get it! I do that all the time!” It’s a work in progress – like the biking in snow. Glad you took that step – even though it sounds miserable! Lol!

    1. At my treatment center, the counsellors all seemed to have one line or part of the book they really attached themselves to. One guy always went on about contempt prior to investigation. Seemed a bit too esoteric to a bunch of guys who just wanted to not use and / or drink. It seemed a bit evangelical or philosophical for me. But now I am the same. It takes on deeper meaning for me as the time passes.

      Yes, a work in progress…always loved that line applied to folks like us. Hell, it can apply to anyone, anywhere. But for us, it takes on more meaning, as we have to avoid the idea of any sort of perfection or stasis. And the state of being in the “now”. We progress, ever so slowly…or not so slowly.

      And yeah, it was a slog. Chickened out of riding today. Not because of snow, but I wasn’t in the state of mind to tackle the winds today. See? State of mind. When I give myself the smallest “out”, I take it…easier, softer way indeed…lol.

      Thanks Chenoa for the comments – love seeing you here!

      Paul (not a Mad Man)

  6. like you, I LOVE riding in the cold…it’s invigorating 🙂 – I haven’t ridden in snow b/c we don’t have any…but if we did, I would! Black ice? Not so much…

    1. Black ice is deadly…avoid at all costs! Oh wait, you can’t see black ice…yikes. I don’t think I rode since that day – too icy. Ah well…good to see a fellow cold free wheeler out here!!

  7. lucy2610 says:

    Something we say to our kids all the time is how do you know you don’t like it until you’ve tried it? Need to take my own advice me thinks 😉

    1. No kidding – do as I say, not as I do! Doesn’t work for long with them…they catch on. But you’re right, we certainly need to take our own advice! (I’m the worst for doing that)

  8. byebyebeer says:

    I want to tell you to be careful in the snow but 1) I know you are and 2) I think I’m just jealous you’re not using snow as an excuse not to do things. You’ve got some nice looking tread on those tires. That’s a really cool shot at the end. I’m grateful for the reminder not to knock something before trying it, as this is usually due to fear and no release in that.

    1. Thanks K. I took to pic as soon as I got off the bike. I left my pass in my office, so I had to temp lock it on that fence, go into the office, then come back to open the shed-like area we have for bikes. I like what you said about no release in that. It’s true…getting out of that fear and feeling freer…what a trip! I don’t do it nearly enough…I am sure I am not alone in that.

      I have to say, going back home that day…didn’t happen. It got too bad, even for those tires. Jumped with the bike onto the subway. Keeping safe, and not allowing ego to run the show 🙂

      Thanks for the comments 🙂

      Paul

  9. Al K Hall says:

    Life serves up all kinds of situations and dishes out all kinds of opportunities. Like with foreign food, we have to try it at least once to see if it we like it!

    1. I like the foreign food analogy there. That’s what I tell the kids – how do you know you don’t like it unless ya throw it in your gob there? Meh. And I do that too – I KNOW I won’t like it because..um…you know…it’s like…ugh. No reason. Funny how we are like that…

  10. Like Chenoa, contempt prior to investigation was a concept I learned in the rooms of AA, but, since learning, I have found it permeates my life. So many “I don’t…’s” in my life: I don’t camp (like Lauren above), I don’t listen to rap music, there is a stair climb coming up in which a bunch of friends and family are participating… “I don’t do tight spaces.” The root cause in each case may be different… I may be sitting in judgment of those who do, I may insecurely believe I am incapable, I may selfishly not want to try, but the root cause of all contempt prior to investigation is fear.

    Here is what I’ve learned: the more forcefully proclaim “I don’t…,” the more I need to examine why I am showing contempt prior to investigation.

    Thanks for this thoughtful post, Paul!

    1. I love what you say about judgement – I didn’t discuss that but now that you mention it, it certainly is part of the discussion. The fact that “I don’t ____” either brings me to judging the person who does as beneath me, or above me. “Oh, I could never do THAT” means that I playing small or less than. “Oh I could never do THAT” means that I play better than. And in the long run, I guess we’re trying to be right sized…probably the toughest thing for me to do in recovery.

      Thanks for the additional thought, Josie – you always add to what’s going on here 🙂

      Paul

  11. Yay. Took a chance. =) New pathway. 😉

    1. Thanks Diana! I am looking for the next new experience to propel me further. That is, unless I chicken out 🙂

      Thanks for being here.

  12. big mike says:

    Paul

    I am the type to try anything once. Problem was the fear and perfectionist in me. If the result wasn’t stellar on the first try, that was it. Done. Never doing it again. Especially if it was done in public, where I risked being judged by another human being.

    No kidding. As a kid, I struck out at baseball once. Never played it again. Bowling, same thing. Any kind of sport or pursuit for that matter Tried to drop out of kindergarten. When the going gets tough, I want to run away. Story of my life.

    The opposite is true too. If I was good at something on the first try, I’d want that same result every time. At a detriment. Even still today.

    The reality of today is: I still have that underlying fear. Its who I am. Though it doesn’t rule my life…… mostly. A lot of times, it is my instant reaction to stuff, but I’ve learned the tools to try and overcome it. Its hard sometimes. I have to force myself. Its only through the tools I learned in 12 step programs, that I can cope with being…… me.

    I have an over abundance of the ying. Its through the 12 steps and other good orderly direction, that I learned the balancing the yang.

    1. I was exactly like that, Mike – if I wasn’t gold medal winning off the top, it went in to the rubbish. The baseball example is perfect, and I can relate to that totally. And the opposite – that is very true too. Needed to be top dog even if I was lucky or able to do well in something. I remember playing on the high school racquetball team and winning all the games except for one inconsequential one…and guess what buried me all day all night? Thinking of that one game (against my coach, who was a Davis Cup participant in tennis and had about 30 years racquet sports) got me removed from the game I really enjoyed.

      I love the ying yang thing…awesome. I am going to use that, if that’s ok 🙂

      And it’s tough for me too, Mike…but baby steps for me. Using the spiritual; toolkit laid at my feet by others who had tread the path is what brings me through it…and talking about it.

      Thank you Mike once again…every comment you make here brings me joy and something to reflect upon.

      Paul

  13. stacilys says:

    Ok, first of all, you must really like winter and cold to be riding your bike in snow. You wouldn’t catch me dead doing that (ok, maybe that’s going overboard=) I am not a winter/cold/snow person. Good thing I live in Brazil now eh (but, as you can see I haven’t lost all of my ‘Canadian’).
    “When I keep an open mind… …I get to see that being right does not mean being happy.”
    -Well said, my friend. I am just coming to learn this recently. Oh my goodness, it’s already taken me 40 years to get to this point. But, thank God I am. I’m going to have to remember this passage you wrote. Growth coming out of being wrong. Being open to new passions and love (very relevant in my life right now). Living in the now. Being right doesn’t mean being happy. I think it all comes down to having a teachable heart, wouldn’t you say?
    Oh, and before I sign off, I used to love Blind Melon. I went to see them in concert twice over 20 years ago (am I ever getting old). First time was with Pearl Jam and Neil Young as well. Second time, they opened for Lenny Kravitz. They were pulled off stage though because the lead singer was blasted and started to mega kiss the bumble bee and peed out into the crowd. Good thing I wasn’t up front.
    Blessings Paul – and great post (as always)
    Staci

    1. I was laughing (and cringing) about the lead singer doing that. Lots of guys have had meltdowns on stage huh? I am thinking of the Green Day guy before he went to rehab. It makes me think of those guys who are problem drinkers and perform.

      (Here is an example – the singer of The Beautiful South, Paul Heaton, is known as a heavy drinker / alcoholic, although I don’t think he’s acknowledged it. Here he sings while clearly “not well”. Not sure if he’s dried up since.)

      The idea of a teachable heart is a wonderful one, my friend. Love that. I think being open to that and other of life’s lessons is more than half the battle, eh? <—Cdn there too 🙂

      Here's to us keep growing up!

      Paul

      1. stacilys says:

        Hmmm, yup it looks like Paul Heaton isn’t so well in this video. Thanks for sharing it with me. It does seem that there are many musicians that have their little ‘meltdowns’ on stage.

        “I think being open to that and other of life’s lessons is more than half the battle, eh?”
        Definitely agree. As well as being aware of the changes that need to be made and the desire for them to be made.

        Blessings Paul=)
        Staci

  14. OK, Paul, I’m having a little freaky Higher Power moment here. I was just at a meeting, today, where a person gave a lead on this exact quote. Then, I got home, sat down in front of my computer to catch up on some blog reading, and read your post… Either the person reads your blog and was inspired to talk about the quote or my Higher Power is slappin’ me upside the head with a concrete block or… both. Excuse me while I have one of those Higher Power “Twilight Zone” moments. Dang…

    1. I LOVE those moments! I doubt someone is reading this and sharing…lol. But it’s certainly one of those things that makes the rounds in the rooms. I find when I keep encountering something, especially in short successive shots, then I am getting something to look at. Interesting to see how that works for you 🙂

  15. It’s funny how judgment and selfishness coincide. For such a long time, I battled against my own ego because my opinions were often too loud. And as for trying something knew? Unless it evolved around a new brand of vodka or a deliciously vibrant bottle of Rioja, I didn’t want any part of it. It’s hard to swallow how us alcoholics justify our drinking with “People like us were meant to die young…” Crazy shit right there, my friend.

    I loved when you wrote, “Cold is a state of mind, and if my state of mind is right, I can ride through sub-Arctic climates. When my mind is not right, a random draft of wind on a summer’s eve might send me off shivering.” This is so true and I couldn’t have said it better myself. This reminds me of a phrase I would read in a really good novel. And it paints an all too familiar picture of what we think we can’t do vs. what we can actually conquer. Like the cold, fear is a state of mind. Once we remove the fear (which is usually boosted by the false freedoms of alcohol) we are capable of doing anything we set our mind to. Thus, your riding in 0 degree weather. Kudos for you, Paul. I would like to think I could do this but I suffer from a circulatory disease which causes my limbs to go numb in anything below 40 degrees. Sucks but I have alcohol and cigarettes to thank for that.

    Happy riding and I’m so glad to hear your mind is where it needs to be. It certainly gives us continuous hope in continuing to defeat our worst fears.

    1. Judgement! Oh yeah, give me some of that, thick and rich right over the pasta…yummy. Oops, getting at it again. Time to slim down on that fatty stuff. You are right – judgement and selfishness do come as a package. When I am not thinking of myself, I am not making judgements. I am showing empathy, or being of service. When I am wrapped up in me? Oh yes, bring it on – I have more than just opinions on you all!

      And yeah – fear. Well, we can go on about that for a while can’t we? Best leave that for the poets and pundits. Oh, and maybe all of humanity…we all have it, don’t we, in many forms and strengths.

      I’d rather just jump on that bike and ride than think about it sometimes…lol.

      Thanks for the wonderful comments as usual, my friend 🙂

      Paul

  16. Amy says:

    Hi Paul- I recently discovered your wonderful blog and have been getting so much out of them! But just curious what happened to your other blog A Gesture Less Impure? When I clicked it it appears to have been discontinued?

    1. Oh thank you Amy! I am glad that you can relate and that you are getting something out of it!

      And as for the second blog…I have to admit that I killed it. Yesterday. I am surprised someone noticed, actually…lol. The second blog was something that has really been speaking to me for a long time. I worked hard at it – days and weeks in fact. And just after a scant five posts, I pulled the plug. Something didn’t sit right with me on it. Perhaps it’s that or it was trying to juggle two different “worlds” or personas. In the end, with deep regret, I yanked it. no harm, no foul, I suppose. Didn’t get much traffic anyway, and more importantly I didn’t feel it was “me”.

      I know I will start something else up, but what I had there wasn’t what I was supposed to do. Either that or my ego just imploded as did my patience and just axed something that was meant to take time to blossom. who the hell knows…LOL. That’s the fun part – figuring it all out!

      Anyway, excuse the vent there…thanks for asking about it and welcome. There are some amazing people that come here (like you now!) that really makes me feel at home 🙂

      Blessings,
      Paul

      1. jrj1701 says:

        Sorry to hear you pulled the plug on your other blog, you were doing some good there. Don’t give up the writing, please. You have got a gift and it would be a shame for those of us who like good writing if ya hung up your spurs.

        1. Thanks JR. I think I was trying too hard, methinks. Got to precious with it and just didn’t know where to go with it. Probably didn’t have as much to say as I thought I did…ha ha.

          Your words are as kind and generous as you are, good sir. thank you – made my day.

          Blessings and stay warm!

          Paul

  17. Lisa Neumann says:

    Paul, I have chosen to arrive at the end of your inner machinations and comment. As always, you bring Creator to front and center for me. I have actually devoted this day to catching up on blogs and it’s been one of my funnest days. Reading, laughing, crying, etc. It’s as if I’ve gotten a big chunk out of everyone’s journey these past six weeks as I read post after post on the same blog.

    I love everything you write, (so does the rest of the world). You have a unique gift of presenting information so that our human mind can receive hold the idea. (for more than a second)

    This last post touches on that which I so need to hear. “That which I resist persists,” There are some things in life that are optional and there are others that aren’t optional, only a matter of ‘when’. (It’s not an “if” but a “when”)

    I want to stop resisting when the Universe calls.

    You are a wonderful light and mentor for me.

    1. Thank you Lisa – so glad you could make it over to this corner of the world. And I am also glad you could relate, or have this stuff resonate. I tend to write just from where I am at that moment, without any sort of resolution. And it still doesn’t cease to amaze me how it sits with others. And when I read other people’s blogs and their stuff resonates with me, even when they say that they feel unique in their position and feelings.

      I love what you say about wanting to stop resisting when the Universe calls. What a trip! I am on board for that one…I just have to be open to that call. And I guess for me, part of my journey is doing the prep work for all that.

      Thanks for the kind and generous words, Lisa. You have always been an inspiration and teacher to me 🙂

      Paul

    1. Thank you! that’s very kind of you to say 🙂

      Paul

  18. Although I’ve been to AA meeetings a fair number of times (until I left the States and haven’t found an English speaking one here), I’d never heard this phrase. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist in my world, I just called them “Becca-isms.” And like so many others, I’ve got my share. I’m definitely going to have to do a little more research on this in terms of what it means within the alcoholic world. Thanks so much for your blog post. Your writing is excellent 🙂

    1. Thank you Rebecca…means a lot to hear that coming from you 🙂

      I think the expression can cut across any world, not just the alcoholic one. I think we are more prone to falling prey to the things that others may not be so in tune with or take at such face value. I mean, most of what we talk about in the rooms is stuff that almost anyone can relate to – resentment, fears, etc. but we are just a lot more aware about them and talk about them because the consequences of ignoring them are much more dangerous to us than to others. Then again, people act out in ways that need not be alcoholic per se, but can be detrimental to them or others.

      Anyway, thanks again for your comments…always a pleasure seeing you here 🙂

      Paul

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