Not So Sweet Tidings

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Don't let that delicious snowman fool ya - he's here to foreclose.  Smarties or no Smarties.
Don’t let that delicious snowman fool ya – he’s here to foreclose. Gumdrops be damned.

The experiment is over.

The research is done, the facts are in, the jury has handed over a sweaty folded piece of paper over to the judge.

No more sugar for this dude.

At the end of last January, I wrote about my decision to go sugar free.  Re-reading it with fresh eyes recently, I still see some of the things now as I saw them then – the “reach” of yet another thing to escape self, the poisonous nature of sugar, a coping mechanism that didn’t seem dangerous at first.  And there are some things I see now…things that I needed to see in the light of yet another addiction.

Now, to those who have relapsed with alcohol, this is going to sound frightfully similar here as I itemize my downfall.  Shall we go for a ride?

1) I thought that I was doing well, and that a tiny bit of chocolate wouldn’t hurt.  I was at work and thought nothing of just taking a small bite (“sample!”) of a truffle.  I mean, it had been months of abstinence and certainly one tiny morsel of decadent, rich, delicious, intoxicating, breathtaking, scrumptious, deep, dark, velvety, harmless chocolate couldn’t do any damage, right?

2) I spent a few days sans sucre and hey, that was pretty good, wasn’t it?  Ego in check.  Nothing to see here folks, move along.  Keep your tickets until the end of the ride.

3) Since I was so good at controlling my intake, it was ok to have a bite of pastry, no?  And pastry is different than chocolate…we all know that.  And hell, if I am going to have one bite, might as well finish the rest.  Wouldn’t want to waste food, or be rude.  

4) You know, I lost a lot of weight not having sugar, and those first few pounds gained back are really nothing anyway.  A muffin here and then, a bowl of cereal before bed, a few Smarties after lunch, and hey, a treat for all my hard work aren’t really a big deal.  I ride my bike a lot, so I should be fine.

5) Alright, alright.  I like this sugar thing.  I know it’s starting to creep up again.  But I can moderate it this time.  It’s not like before.  Hey – I stopped drinking and stayed stopped, OK?  I can handle some sweets, yeah?  It won’t be like it was last time. Promise.

6) I can stop anytime I want.  I am just enjoying life right now.  I’ll stop when I need too.  Get off my back, alright?  I’ll do it before it gets really bad.  Now, where are my Butterfingers and cake batter-flavoured frozen yogurt…

7) I need to get off this rollercoaster.  My moods are affected.  My body is morphing.  My sleep is disturbed.  My emotions are stalling.  I crave when I don’t even want.  How did it get to this?  How did it go so quickly? Look up OA.

Tell me the truth, son.  Is daddy starting to look like Chunk from The Goonies?
Tell me the truth, son. Is daddy starting to look like Chunk from The Goonies?

Did you see the lies, the justifications, the rationalizations, the excuses, the fears, the anger, the ego and the pride in there, in that list?  I did.  You could pour it over pancakes, how thick and luscious those lies were (I might want to start using different analogies here on in).  The great myth here, the great unmasking, the great deception is this – that I decided to eat sugar again.  That is the fantastic untruth here. That I made a decision.  I made no decision at all.  It was my addiction’s choice.  It was my powerlessness over sugar that made the decision.  My ego just wanted to play along and make me think I had some say in it.  Kind of sounds like the booze thing all over again, doesn’t it?  Ugh.

So I sit in a place where I know that sugar is just another addiction for me.  Part of me doesn’t want to admit it, but that part is dying rather quickly.  Sure, I am not going to get arrested for having too many Boston Creams in my blood system, but that’s not the point.  It’s what the driving force behind it is.  It’s the causes and conditions.  It’s the coping mechanism machine kicking in again.  The clarity that has emerged out of these last few lard-and-molasses-laden weeks is that I don’t have an off switch when it comes to sugar.  I don’t have a dimmer in me that can ease things off or shut it down if needed.  I have lost the capacity to choose whether I want or not want sweets.  The choice is made for me on a regular basis.  I’m there for the ride, baby.  And I am the one suffering from it.

I feel ya Sammy.  I really do, you hep cat ya.
I feel ya Sammy. I really do, you hep cat ya.

The things that I see now that I didn’t see when I posted last about this are things that I could only see after going on this spree.  The first was that in my first attempt at eliminating sweets, I left the door open to getting back into it.  I never swore off for good, nor did I make a pact, other than just don’t have sugar.  I mentally kept the back gate open a smidgen.  And there’s nothing more an alcoholic of my type likes is to have a smidgen of anything open for negotiation and wiggling out of.  I could spread smidgens on French toast (oops, did it again).  The second thing I saw was really how much I depended on those sugary distractions, those syrupy sojourns, those cavity-inducing cathartic releases.  It was always worse than I made it out to be. In classic alcoholic form, I minimized just how much they took me over.  When the heat got too much inside, a few pieces of sugared up fried dough helped cool things down.  Lovely.

And, in the way that only the Creator could finagle this, Lisa at Sober Identity started to discuss her detox from several items, including sugar.  The timing couldn’t have been better.  It was like I was watching myself in the future.  She speaks about it in her usual brilliant self – raw when needed,  experiential and eloquent always.  She speaks of gaining greater clarity through the process and utilizing other support systems in this and other issues.  I can see the unfolding of this through her eyes, and yet I realize my path is a different one than hers.  Sugar is not alcohol.  Sugar is found in many foods.  I don’t need alcohol to survive.  I do need food to survive.  So while I plan to take my 12 step experience to this addiction, I will not doubt need a nutritionist or similar to help me navigate the actual nuts and bolts of doing this.  Some rebar to add to the cement, if you will.

I needed some subtle photo here...
I like this.  Subtle.

It’s actually a sigh of relief, in many way, this sugar thing I am dealing with (“dealing with”? Sounds like I am talking about a teen daughter who won’t come out of her room…yikes).  When I first knew I was an alcoholic, at a very gut level way, there was almost a perverse but palpable joy in it.  I was something…finally. I had felt like a nothing all my life, so to feel that I had something to hang my hat on, even if it was being a lush, was something to almost be thankful for. In the same way, I feel like I have something else to buoy myself up on here.  It’s a step in the right direction, a new path forged with the usual pitfalls and joys that only addicts and alcoholics know.  But I will have the strength and power that comes from the Creator and knowing that I have done this before…and yet am totally new to it.

Clarity.  Growth.  Perspective.  A new outlook on life.  For this alcoholic, these don’t come from self-help books or reading inspirational quotes all day on Twitter. It comes from marching through tough stuff.  Stepping on a few nails wearing worn down moccasins.  Stepping on a rake smacking your face slapstick type nonsense.  Getting ugly and snotty and facing the things that make you want to run to Home Depot and wrap yourself in Teflon sheets and bury yourself in unicorn shavings.  But out of all that comes the sense that the True Self blossoms out of that manure.  That the more the Old Self dies, what was meant to be surfaces and we fill that old void with Goodness, Oneness to one’s self and the Creator.  Big Love stuff going on.

All from letting go of what doesn’t serve us.

And just because I have been down the path before doesn’t necessarily make it easier.   It does makes it a lot more interesting, though.

Blessings, y’all.

My old path.
My old path.

37 Comments Add yours

  1. Amy says:

    There’s that part of my brain that whines, “No. No! We already gave up wine! Not cookies too!” But then there’s that logical part that knows how shitty sugar makes me feel- much like booze, just without the big bang. I just read this great book recently called “It Starts With Food” that gives you some science behind the eating. The cookbook that goes with it (“Well Fed”) is also great. Both worth buying. I wonder at why we are so resistant to feeling good? How come there’s a need for punishment? For doing things that make you feel bad? (like eating waaaaayyyyyy too much ice cream) Bad in the head and bad in the body. I really related to this one. Cheers my friend. 🙂

    1. Hmmm…I like the sounds of the initial book there. I am a nerd for things like that. Bad in the head, bad in the body – love that! Yeah, it’s certainly bad in the head, my friend. That’s why I have to go ahead with it…enough of bad in the heads my life. Filling up with more good in the head, good in the body, good in life 🙂

      Thanks for the awesome comments and recommendations!

      Paul

    2. lifecorked says:

      thanks for this suggestion Amy! I’m going to look into it too!

  2. I may have used a few of those excuses myself…for everything. Fantastic work. As always. Concise, insightful, honest and funny. Doesn’t get any better than that.
    More power to you, pal. Managed to ween myself off the sugar meself. It got pretty ugly there for a bit. Putting my pants on (with some difficulty) at 11;30 at night to drive to the gas station and pick up a little something, You know. Keep my party rolling.
    Why does this sound so familiar?
    Anyway, I had to eliminate flour, and most other grains, with the deal. And while at first, that seemed to be heaping even more onto the pyre of my self-sacrifice, it actually helped. Flour is bullshit. At least to my glycemic index. A few pieces of toast or oatmeal in the morning made my sugar spike, then crash. And when it crashes…watch out mofo! I’m ripping into a package of Hohos while waiting in line to pay.
    Now I eat a lot of protein, vegetables, and fats. Loads. And guess what. Lost the sugar cravings completely. No joke. I really leaned out too. Back to hovering around my fight weight, which is around 195.
    I don’t know if this diet would work for everybody. Just relaying my experience, hope, and jaw-dropping strength. Ha.
    Remember my e-mail about Lori? Well she’s also added kicking sugar to her list. We’ve become a 48-Step household. I’m telling you, I get winded from all the climbing.
    Speaking of climbing to ever higher summits, weren’t you going to get back into martial arts? Or was that just a message I received through some angelic intelligence?
    Oh, btw, I still slip. Now and then, I’ll have a little sweet treat. Just because I’m powerless and shit. But God is nice enough to make me feel physically miserable when I do. So that helps.
    Oh, I’m still rolling around an answer to your last comment over at Trudge Inc. I want it to be good.
    Ah, my dear friend, I wish you success in this new challenge. Don’t be hard on yourself if you replace it with another compulsion. I just don’t find too many of us that don’t trapeze to some other “hobby.” Think of it as expanding your addiction horizon. Who knows what the next kick will be? Maybe stamp-collecting. Maybe just walking the earth as an enlightened divine being. Either one will make you lose a bunch of friends.
    It doesn’t matter. You’ll make knew ones.
    You won’t lose me though. I don’t judge. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a few fat rails of unicorn shavings sitting on this mirror, just waiting to be snorted. Nothing in the Big Book about that.
    Ah, maybe you’re right. Maybe I should just keep a void for now. Let Universal Goodness fill it, however It chooses.
    There really is big Love stuff going on. You help prove that to me. All the time.
    Marius

    1. You continue to be “The Man” to my “Chico”, M. I had no idea you were a man of no C12H22O11. You had me at “hello”. But what you said about huffing up the pants to pant over to the local for a party favourite…I get that. Last minute dashes. Jumping through the door as they are about to bolt it. I could imagine you with those ho-hos…funny, delicious and frightening. I know that I displayed similar behaviours. You hit on the one thing that frightens me even more – the removal of flour. I really hope that I don’t get there, but if I do, c’est-la-vie. I guess there are enough flour substitutes out there to keep me from ripping the heads off bats and other nocturnal creatures.

      Funny how folks here have mentioned whole food, protein, etc. to combat the sugar cravings…or to eliminate them like you said.

      Laughing my ass off in the “48 step household”. Stop it.

      I had a pic of myself as a lad doing martial arts. Not sure if I have the gumption to gear up in a gi again. I do have to find some sort of exercise that will help things smooth out. Does macrame count?

      Love everything you said, M. You’re the bees knees. (please don’t snort those either.) You’re right too about our folk having a hard time not getting into other things just a bit too much. But if it’s stamp collecting, then I will have to invite you over to take a look at the rare upside down Spongebob Square Pants series. It’s killer.

      Hugs,
      Paul

  3. losedabooze says:

    It’s pretty incredible the link between alcohol and sugar. On the team I lead and participate on, when many of us give up alcohol, we crave sweets. I admire you for kicking this habit now. I guess for someone like me, that will come once I have a handle on making sure the alcohol is conquered. What we put into our bodies can make or break us – that’s for sure drinks and eats… Thanks for sharing your insights!

    1. It’s so common, this craving for sweets by recovering alcoholics. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t chow down on the desert table one too many times. It’s the craving from the residual sugars that fermentation / distillation we’re so used to. But yeah, thank you – I am sure things will be fine. Coming to it from a different place should help this time. And for sure it’s not something I would have done at the same time as drinking! I know guys that quit drinking and smoking at the same time…now THAT is tough. But they are in the minority – check out any AA meeting and watch the huffing and puffing outside the doors. lol.

      Cheers,

      Paul

  4. You make a good point about seeking help from a nutritionist (or someone like that). Just like with alcohol, it’s not enough that we abstain. We have to figure out why we’re making the choice in the first place. I had to go on an anti-inflammation diet for health reasons and found that I craved sugar less when my I ate whole foods and exercised. If I had cut out sugar without committing to changing the rest, the craving would’ve been overwhelming. When I stopped drinking, I worked on my whole self too. You have great clarity! Best wishes to you!

    1. You know, it wasn’t until I read Lisa’s post that I even thought of seeing a nutritionist. But as you said, it probably makes sense, yeah? And of course, getting to causes and conditions helps. I found that I had a lot of things come up for me when I stopped the first time around. Stuff that would have been hidden under the sugar rush. So you’re right about that!

      Thank you for your insightful comments, as usual.

      Blessings,
      Paul

  5. byebyebeer says:

    Eerily well timed post since I announced last night to my husband that I was going back on the no-dessert wagon. I only half feel it in my heart, but the pounds are creeping on again. Life may seem too short for no-dessert, but for me it’s too short to go through this bullshit cycle the rest of my life. The anxiety, guilt, bingeing, guilt, anxiety, ad nauseum. I could relate to every single one of your phases. Plus, hey, also seeing firsthand how giving in makes getting back on track that much harder. Just like I’ve heard people say about alcohol relapse, go figure. This is a different battle, but maybe we are making progress. I’ve no intention of giving up either.

    1. No kidding!? I remember the first time I hit your blog, you were doing the 30-day sugar cleanse, so funny how we’re talking about this again…eerie timing indeed! I agree about the BS cycle…it tires quickly, doesn’t it? I know I am a slug when I am on the sugar, and my mind melts too…more than usual. Everything you mentioned just now – I can relate.

      Glad you’re in this too – feels good to have an ally 🙂

      Good luck…or whatever it is we need!

      Paul

      1. byebyebeer says:

        Me too! I keep thinking I should be able to just have dessert occasionally and that is still my (naive?) end goal. For now, it feels easier to cut it out. (I say this on Day 1, ha.)

  6. furtheron says:

    Don’t know where I am on this… I don’t have sugar in tea or coffee – however I don’t normally have diet drinks, but I don’t mind Coke Zero and Pepsi Max – the problem is in restaurants/bars it is rarely that but the awful saccharine laden “diet” versions.

    Hmm… I eat too many muffins in coffee shops and too many chocolate biscuits and bars.

    For me I think I should endeavour to cut down a bit more not totally – also fruit has a lot of natural sugar so there is a tricky one, cut out fruit? But that is good for you…

    At least the sugar associated with alcohol is no longer a worry!

    1. You know the funny thing, with this whole sugar thing I just went through – I *still* didn’t put sugar in my coffee. I used to be a 8-10 tsp sugar in my coffee kind of guy (reduced to 2-3 pkg of sweetener – still not good) and when I kicked sugar the first time round, it was the hardest thing to do – no sugar in my coffee. But for some reason, during my sugar period just now, I still held out on the sugar in my coffee. Perhaps a last shot at control?

      I don’t cut out fruit…whole, that is. I would eat bags of clementines no problem. But fruit juice I avoided. And as far as natural sugars…well, they are all natural, for the most part. But I avoid honey, molasses, corn syrup, stevia, sweeteners, honey, etc. A bit hard lined, but I have to. Any of things still taste sweet, and that’s all I need to take off. But I’ll see what a nutritionist says – might as well go to the expert!

      But your’re right – the sugar attached to booze, well…no thanks!

      Thanks for the comments, Graham!

      Paul

  7. Interesting I should read this today because I have started to have these same thoughts about my caffeine consumption. I don’t drink pop and I rarely drink tea. Coffee is my downfall. Nothing wrong with it, right? It’s legal and all. Then, I went for a medical test last week — one of those where they ask me not to have caffeine before it. Wow! My little obsessive mind couldn’t wait to get out of there and get my triple-shot latte.

    1. Hey Dorothy, have I ever mentioned that I too had a big caffeine issue when I first got sober? I was downing 10-12 mugs of heart-stopping Ethiopian shade-grown joe every single day. Venti at Starbucks without fail. Drank them even when I didn’t feel like (sound familiar?). It started to wean out at about 6 months into sobriety. Probably one of the few things I can successfully moderate in life. I can have 2-3 at most now. One in the morning for sure, then one in the afternoon. One more if I go to a meeting. More than that and I get the jitters. How I got 10-12 down my gullet a day is a mystery. Nonetheless, I just started to just listen to my body, and when it started with the jitters, I would drink juice or water. Before I knew it, I had gotten out of the obsession. Not much more advice I can give there. But it happens to many of us 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by – made my day seeing you here!

      Paul

  8. Mrs D says:

    Oh gawd.. sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar. Everyone is talking about it, everyone is wondering about it, everyone is struggling with it. Or so it seems. Me too. Like BBB I think it’s a bullshit cycle and one that I am seemingly going around and around….boring boring boring but I do have to get back on top of it and watch it… sigh. I dunno.. a part of me just thinks we should chill the fuck out as we’ve done the big brave amazing thing in getting sober.. so shouldn’t we just cut ourselves some slack? Ok ok.. I know… no harm in always trying to be the best we can be and yes.. too much sugar – especially big binges like I’ve been having lately (5chocolatetoffeebiscuitsinbed) is dysfunctional behavior..must stop. Great post.xxxx

    1. You know, Mrs. D, as I was writing my post, I had those thoughts too – have I been overreacting all this time? Is this just a fad thing? Should I indeed chill out? The problem is that I just know myself too well, and I know it’s not just a few extra sweets in bed (ha ha – I can picture that). It’s the kind of thing where if I don’t have my X amount of (large) choc items available, or nearby, I would get antsy. Uncomfortable. Panicky. And for me to gain about 20lbs in 3 weeks from this, I can foresee uglier physical consequences. Diabetes is one of my fears…blech. But yeah, it’s everywhere because sugar is…well, everywhere…lol.

      Glad to know I am not the only one making crumbs in bed…ha ha.

      Thanks Mrs. D!

      Paul

  9. Thanks for the post. You really did have a sugar relapse! It’s interesting how similar addictions can be. Since quitting drinking I have definitely craved more sugar. At this point (70+ days) I’m allowing myself to enjoy it, but I know it could easily become a replacement addiction.

    Also, randomly enough, my hubby’s acupuncturist to him to cut down on sugar and this weekend he had a cupcake after a few drinks at a party. He told me it made him feel drunk!

    1. Hi Rebecca – yeah, I did have a sugar relapse indeed! Not all of those who stop drinking become addicted to sugar. Most, if not all, of the recovering alcoholics I know naturally crave sweets. That’s why you see cookies and cakes at AA meetings. We get cranky without our sweets and coffee. 🙂

      Congrats on 70+ days! Please do enjoy it, and by all means, have those extra sweets. I wouldn’t worry about this sugar thing right now. It may phase out, but from what I am hearing, and what has worked for me in the past, is that exercise, proper diet and sleep help to belay the cravings. One thing at a time…ha ha.

      I never thought of acupuncture as a way of doing that sugar thing – how long does it last for? Interesting…

      Thank you so much for being here – I am so indebted for you comments.

      Love and light,
      Paul

      1. Thanks for your blog 🙂 Love and light right back!! And I wouldn’t say the acupuncture cured his cravings completely but that was about three days. Ha!

  10. lifecorked says:

    Okay, so apparently we all need to join the “no sugar club” because it seems to be a BIG issue for us drunks! I say this after I just finished some gelato and leftover cake which I didn’t even really want but it’s there so why not eat it? Ugh! I never even liked sweets until I stopped drinking. There’s no excuse – I need to do something about it too. Thanks for the inspiration Paul – I think! Haha!

    1. You said it, Chenoa. I wasn’t a big sweet tooth until I stopped drinking too. I had my phases or moments, but mostly it was when I got into sobriety that I started to crave bit time. It’s amazing how pretty much all of us have this intense sugar craving – but it’s just part of our body so used to the sugars in booze. And to our body, sugar is sugar.

      I’ll let ya know how it goes… 🙂

      Blessings,
      Paul

  11. bizi says:

    This is my first time reading your blog. I thank lose da boose for pointing me in your direction.I have not yet joined belles 100 day challenge. But I will next month after my vacation. I love the way you write. When ever I stop drinking I always put myself on a diet.
    My drink of choice was a blue berry beer, which has 300 calories a beer. That is an egg mcmuffin, and often I would have 3 beers!
    anyway. Thank you for such a great blog.
    bizi

    1. Welcome bizi! So glad you made it over here…hopefully not too scary 🙂

      Belle’s got a groovy thing going on there, hasn’t she? I love that she’s doing this – I don’t know how many she has going on the challenge, but it’s growing like mad…and so glad that you’re going to join. Yeah, beer and wine tend to have a lot more calories that the hard stuff. So you get a double whammy there. Actually I used to get a triple whammy because the booze would make me hungry, then I would over eat! So who knows how many calories I was guzzling in during a session. Blech.

      Thanks for the kind words and that you’re here. It’s a pleasure. And have a wonderful vacation if we don’t run into each other until then 🙂

      Blessings,
      Paul

  12. Erika says:

    Man, oh man! This post, OA, sugar addiction, finding comfort in food!! I hated and loved this whole post. I read it but not as thoroughly as I should have. I don’t know if it happens to you, but to me, when I know something resonates in a confrontational way, I kind of dodge it: I try to evade it, I don’t like seeing myself in that situation, it’s uncomfortable… it’s not pretty. Reading this, it happened. I need to come back tomorrow and read it more carefully. Sorry for this rant here!

    1. Hi Erika,

      I get what you say about hating and loving this…me too 🙂

      Rant all you want here…it’s a safe place.

      I was uncomfortable a bit when writing it too – had to face what it is that I have been feeling and to pinpoint my own downfall. Not a fun thing, but necessary for growth. Moving through these things are important for me…so while it may reflect your own challenges, I invite you to look at it (or anything else that challenges you) again, and even jot down what it is that frightens you…what is specific about your emotions. Just an exercise. I’ve done that in the past when I did what you did – skim, evade, deflect. Amazing what comes up. No one will see it except you and you can share it or not share it with someone you trust.

      Anyway, homework aside (lol) – I love when you drop by. Glad this resonated with you 🙂

      Love and light,
      Paul

  13. soberrella says:

    Did you know that tomorrow, June 5, is National Gingerbread Day? Just sayin’.

    I loved to hate this post. I’m happy for you that your this far along but I’m not ready to give it up yet.

    Moonbeam Soberrella

    1. Ugh…did you really have to mention that??? ha ha.

      Don’t worry about the sugar thing. If you’re lucky, you won’t get bit by the Splenda-sodden snake of sweets. Keep at it. Most of us can handle it, and eventually get a grip on this. Some don’t. I wish I could, but hey, better than the alternative. But still not healthy. Keep it up on your end – you’re doing well in your journey…and thank you for being dropping by this corner of the world…you’re welcome any time 🙂

      Paul

  14. I have to confess that I used to sit in AA meetings with a not-so-sympathetic ear when I heard members talking about sugar addiction. I’ll be totally honest and say that I though they were just moaning for the sake of it and dare I say it ‘attention seeking’. Wasn’t it enough to be addicted to alcohol?
    And then it happened to me….. Years into recovery, I had been through a pretty difficult time and I started to crave. Not alcohol. Sugar. And I couldn’t get enough of it!
    Suddenly it was like I was in the grip of my alcohol addiction but this time it was chocolate. And I did try to justify it by saying it wasn’t doing me or anyone any harm compared to drink. But the bottom line was that I had to get it under control just like the drink.
    I could relate to so much of what you shared here!
    My answer was to cut out chocolate, sweets, biscuits altogether and stick to a healthy eating plan with lots of fruit and veg. I know this makes me sound a bit ‘holier-than-thou’ 🙂 but it works for me!

    1. Carolyn! I love when you drop by 🙂

      You don’t at all sound holier-than-thou – you just sound like someone who has experience in this very thing, and your story here is VERY helpful to me…believe me. Unlike your experience in the rooms, I never really heard about this in AA meetings. But outside the rooms…well…that’s where people would open up about that (and other non-alcohol non-drug addictions).

      Being the grip of that addiction…we hear that term often, but that’s how I feel at times. Again, not to be dramatic, but it is like being in the drink at times – the thoughts, the behaviours, etc. Sigh. And I think that is why I am excited about this. Because I know the freedom I felt last time, and hope to grow with it like I did with my alcohol recovery.

      Thanks again for being here and sharing 🙂

      Paul

  15. Paul, you’re killing me! Like Erika, I both loved and hated this post. You are hitting me where it hurts. Like many of the other commenters, I have put down the mind-altering substances, but picked up the body-altering ones. You will see a post from me about this, probably tomorrow. Also, I am a little slow to comment, and I have finally figured out why! I follow you, but your posts show up in my reader, so if a lot of other people post on the same day you do, I sometimes lose you in the mix. This cannot happen, as I hang on your every written word, so I will now make sure I receive an email notification for all of your thought-provoking posts! Good luck on the sugar-free bandwagon, I will be following your progress, and hopefully it will inspire some progress of my own!

    1. I like the “body-altering” substance term there. I might have to steal it! I would probably add that it’s a mood altering one too – not as potent as an anti-depressant, but it certainly alters my moods. When daddy doesn’t get his sugary meds…watch out.

      Anyway, it’s always a pleasure to have you here, whenever you’re here…I also got your note…gonna reply soon!

      Hugs,
      Paul

  16. PS… the comment by mariusgustaitus was so wonderful, does he have a blog? I tried to link over to him, but couldn’t find it. If you have a way to connect me, I would love to follow him…

    1. Josie – Marius definitely does have a blog. He’s my writing hero. And he’s one of us for sure. If you think his response here is great, you should check out his work over at Trudging Through the Fire at http://www.mariusgustaitis.com . When I grow up, I want to be him. Take the time to roll through his work…he’s a mad genius.

      🙂

  17. Sober Life says:

    Oh god, sugar! Yes it’s everywhere! I have to say that I seemingly am able to control my sugar intake, which I find really weird since I know it is addictive and I know I eat more when I am stressed out. But I can put it down, take it or leave it, watch people eat it while I drink water and bake cookies and cupcakes and not have a single one. Hmmm… So strange since none of that I can do when it comes to drinking. I was actually telling a friend about this the other day; I can diet too and I can moderate my coffee and soda, no problem! Now can I cut it all out …. Nope, negative, cannot do. I too feel like I did this huge thing, I quit drinking dag it, and I just can’t quit everything. But i have other addictive behaviors that make my head spin… but thats another post! lol! But I sure admire you! You are so right, this is part of being good to ourself, something that was none existent in my previous life! Thanks Paul!

  18. Al K Hall says:

    i just started to write “Don’t hate me for not having a sweet tooth,” but the more i think about it, maybe i don’t have a problem with sugar because i’m not trying to stop! i do eat it quite a bit…

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