In Three Words

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable

Admit – Confess to be true or to be the case, typically with reluctance.

Accept –  To regard as true; believe in

Concede – Admit that something is true or valid after first denying or resisting it.

Step 1 for me is as simple as these words.  I not only had to admit that I was an alcoholic, or at the very least, I had a problem with drinking, but I had to go further.  When I admitted to myself that I was in trouble, it still didn’t stop me.  But the door was open.  I could see that alcohol was causing me problems, but it still wasn’t enough, and I still allowed myself some wiggle room…just in case I was wrong.

Accepting that I had a problem (after getting more pain), was a level deeper.  I started to see that my unmanageability was ripping my life apart at the seams…one dreadful stitch at a time.  Accepting made me see things in a sober light – that wiggle room was closing quickly.  Nothing else made sense to me other than the road I was going, bottle in hand, was the wrong one.  And a painful one at that.

Once I  truly conceded, that I was licked, then step 1 for me was done.  Page 30 of the Big Book states : “We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.”  Poignant, practical and powerful stuff.  Once I learned that I could not drink like others, that I was different, then I was able to start on the path to sobriety.

I have to remember this, keeping this alive, lest the disease and my ego wrest this notion from me and convince me that yes, I am the same as everyone.

And that is a notion that leads to death.

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